what a week!

So this past week was very odd for me! During my entire first trimester I really didn't have a lot of the "normal" pregnancy symptoms. I hardly got sick, maybe 3 time. Food was a little difficult but not to bad, and I managed to sleep just enough ( of course I still wanted more).
Then at the beginning of last week it all hit me like a ton of bricks! I felt awful, exhausted, I was extremely emotional, crancky, and had no desire to do a darn thing. All I could think was " holy crap is this what its going to be like?" I realized however it was my own fault. I am not good with the word no. I commit myself to way to many things. Between my job, social commitments, and wedding stuff I had worn my self out. I'm still doing this. With my 4 days of work (which isn't much thankfully), my all day doctors appointments on Tuesday, and now me saying yes to babysitting for a different family from noon Saturday until 2pm Sunday I ask myself "Am I F-ING MAD???? yes yes I am.
I actually caught myself thinking "Dear God please force me to have to lay around for just a week! That's all I need!" In reality I hope to not be bed ridden at all! I felt/ feel overwhelmed and stressed. I'm constantly worrying or feel guilty about who I'm disappointing or upsetting instead of thinking about what's best for me and baby.
Then today I held one of my dearest, closest, and sweetest friends brand-new baby boy! I held him for only a minute before he needed to eat again but that's all I needed.
I drove home and the tears weld up in my eyes as I thought about the moment I get to meet my sweet angel I worked so hard for, and prayed for my entire life! I realized all the worry, stress, and fear I have had doesn't matter because I will have my baby! My perfect gift! The one thing only Isaac can give me and me give to him. I could careless if my enttiee pregnancy is awful and terrible like last week (all thought I pray not) its all worth it for my sweet baby!
I just want to hold my blessing, and thank God over and over again.
So here's hoping for a smooth rest of the ride! But if its not that's ok, its only 6 more months of my life. I think I can handle that, especially knowing what the end prize is!

Stay tune! The next blog will touch on everyone's questions about my heart disease and pregnancy! Oh man and there is alot!!! Whew!

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