Here we are 11 hours away!

I still can't seem to wrap my head around what's going to happen in the morning. My doctor called me and left a message just to check in and make sure I remembered not eat or drink past midnight. So sweet!
I was doing great today, then I saw my mom and I cried for about a good hour an a half. My tears were representative of every emotion I could possibly feel. I've never felt this before, it so hard to explain. Of course I'm excited but I think I'm equally nervous and scared of the entire process and being a mommy. Isaac put it best. For so long we have been in love with and object (my belly) and a thought of a baby. Now tomorrow that object and thought becomes a real life living breathing child! Its a feeling so hard to describe if you've never been there. Amongst my tears a long time wonderful beautiful best friend of mine called me, Crystal Navarro. And she experienced the same emotions I'm going through now with her son. That brought me so much comfort to know this was normal. When we hung up my husband got down on one knee as I sat on the couch and said "there is something I want to give you, I've wanted to give it to you for a while. Its something I'm giving you as your Husband and soon to be Hunter's father." He then handed me a little box wraped in gold ( I recognized the Kay jewelers wrapping) I looked at him stunned. When I unwrapped it and opened this blue velvet box, I found a beautiful charm that had a silhouette of a gold mother holding her white gold child with a diamond in the center. I was speechless. I just sobbed more. He told me it is to go on the chain the holds the locket he gave me for mothers day with Hunter's picture in it. Its perfect. At that moment a calm came over me that I haven't felt in days. In the charm I also saw a guardian angel holding me! I felt like it was God telling me all was going to be ok. Don't worry, don't cry, because I have you always and forever. I look at my life and I am amazed. I may not be wealthy, I may struggle from time to time, I may be handed difficult cards but I always lean on my Savior and He has given me a beautiful home, a wonderful job, an amazing godsend of a husband, 2 beautiful dogs, a family and family in law beyond words, friends that help me grow and make me better, and now a miracle baby boy! I am so undeserving its insane! But so appreciative.
Thank you all for following me on this journey! My love and heart for you all can not be placed into words! Now tomorrow we close this chapter and start a new! Hang on for the ride because its just starting!
God bless you all!
Isaac's number if you don't have it is 503-956-4440. Feel free to text him at anytime for an update!
May God bless you all!
Tomorrow we welcome a third musketeer!
Love always
Jenn, Isaac, and Hunter!

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The last appointment! Rules and restrictions for visitor!

Well today was the last appointment before Hunter arrives!
We are scheduled for Tuesday August 23rd at 10 am. Isaac and I will be at the hospital at 8am to get all settled in. It will take 3 hours until anyone is allowed to see us. For the first day Isaac, myself, and my doctors feel its best to only have family visit. There are alot of factors playing into that decision. 1) being that Isaac and I really want to share this first with eachother and our families. 2) I'm not sure how I'll be feeling and if I'll be up for "entertaining" people and trying to learn how to be a new mom. 3) There is a chance our son will go through medication withdrawal and I want us to be able to focus on him if that is the case.
There is also certain unknowns in the days to follow the birth. Because I have had a kidney stent for 4 month it has become crusted. Normally a stent removal is no big deal. Its a quick tug out and done. But due to that crusting we know that I will have to be numbed from the waist down, just like I did when it went in, due to the difficulty and pain of pulling it out. The catch is we can't pull it out until we do a CT scan. Well a CT scan can't happen until after Hunter is born.
Here are our two scenarios : best case: I have the baby, all is great and that night or the next day we do the CT scan. The CT scan shows no stone and while I'm still in the hospital the take me back to the OR numb me up and pull it out! All is said and done.
Worst case scenario: I give birth, all is good, we do the CT scan that night or the next day and find a stone or stones that can not pass on their own. We then leave the stent alone. I go home and heal a bit only to have to go back to the hospital and have a procedure done to remove the stone/stones, remove the stent and place a new stent in for a week and then remove that one and all is good.
So as you can see one is a lot longer more aggravating process. We hope for the first of course.
We really want to show off our son and share him with as many people as possible. Unfortunately due to the uncertainty of our situation we just ask that all visitors check with Isaac or myself before coming over. I would hate for you to make the drive and be turned away because I or Hunter are not in a good place to be seen!
That's about it for the update! Please please please pray or send good thoughts are way about the stent. That is my biggest concern right now. I don't want anything to hinder me from being able to take care of my son as his mother!
I love ya all and be ready to welcome our newest member of the family in 6 days!!!! Yay!

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what does it mean to be a mommy?

I sit here night after night wide awake and I let my mind wonder.
Originally we planned on the 20th for our c section but it will be moved up just a few days to accommodate all my doctors schedules. When the day was originally picked we did not take all schedules into consideration.
So on Thursday we will pick a new day! Isaac and I are going to request the 18th because we were married on the 18th of March! I looked at the calendar and realized that is only a week away on Thursday! I can't help but to feel very emotional at the thought of it.
Its so odd the fear that comes over me at the idea of being a new parent. I have taken care of children my entire life! I began babysitting at the age of 11, it was common for me to have at least 5 families at one time! I did that until I was 19 years old! Not to mention having my baby sister who is 10 yrs younger then me! I learned to change a diaper at the age of 9! I went to collage for kindergarten teaching but ended up only getting a degree in ECE (early childhood education ) I'm CPR certified with a concentration on infant and toddler care, I had a 1 yr old live in my house for 8 months, I've taken care of kids on and off for 8 years, and before going on bed rest I was nannying for over a year with 1 yr old twins and a 5 yr old! I even plan on getting my licence and opening my own daycare as a 5+ year goal! On paper I am so qualified for kids! My love and passion to teach and nurture them is something I have always had and always been extremely confident in. Yet here I am a little over a week away from having my very own child and I'm so terrified! What if I break him, or what if I loose my cool, what if I want a break, what if I screw him up, what if something goes wrong with him, what if I'm just not enough? Its so odd for me to be around other children and feel so confident, but facing my own is terrifying! I want him so bad and love him so much already I don't want to screw up! Is this normal? Should I feel so guilty for being so scared?
I'm also terrified of the birthing process. Granted I'm having a c section but will my recovery hinder me being able to care for my baby? How bad will I hurt? What will my emotions do after the hormone drop? (In case you couldn't tell I'm a closet worry basket case! Always have been!)
*Deep breath* I realize I'm only stressing myself out when I don't need to be but yet I can't shut my mind off. I so badly want him here asap but at the same time the little voice in the back of my head says "its ok if you wait little Hunter " moms out there tell me I'm not nuts! Please tell me this is normal?
Its funny too because I look at Isaac and have no doubt he will be the most perfect father! Just today I watched him interact with a friends 2 yr old son and he knew exactly what to do to distract and entertain this boy so mommy could pick upand get ready to go! Again I cry because seeing that lets me know we can do this, and God blessed us for a reason!
Oh man I'm a mess of emotions!

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20 days and counting!

Here I am off my feet trying to get the swelling down quickly! In a week I gained 10 lbs of fluid. It's crazy how fast that came on! If you push on my foot it leaves an imprint.
At my last appointment we had some scare. Because my swelling came on so fast we did a protein dip of my urine and it came back positive for +1. What that means is my kidney is leaking protein into my urine, which is usually a sign of preeclampsia. Preeclampsia can be extremely dangerous, especially for someone with my condition. The tricky thing about me is my blood pressure is so low naturally the Dr was nervous that I would have preeclampsia and we wouldn't know it due to my hidden BP. So we did blood work. Luckily my blood work came back normal! However the nurse did say "you don't have peeeclampsia yet" YET!?!?! I felt very comforted at that moment (can you sense my sarcasim?)
Now we are going to call my urologist and make sure my kidney is not getting damage due to the stent. I may not have preeclampsia (yet) but I could still be having some kidney issues. The Dr said if I test +3 or more he's taking the baby that day.
With that we set the date! C section is August 20th. Although Dr thinks we wont make it that long :D. He goes on vacation from August 11th to the 17th so I think he's hoping baby will hold out until then! We shall see. Of course if need be I have a team of Dr's who will step in and deliver Hunter.
I left the Dr's office that day and burst into tears! It was the fear that "holy crap I'm having a baby!" had kicked in! His room is done so I feel very ready for him! I'm more scared and nervous now about the entire birthing and stent removal process.
So that's pretty much it! I'm a full 36 weeks pregnant, 22 lb weight gain, oh and baby is 7.7 lbs, increase swelling, increase uncomfortability, and ready to meet my baby any day!

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Dear baby boy, I'll see you soon!

I know its been a while since an update and I do apologize!
I am down to weekly Dr appointments and will switch to bi-weekly next week! We are getting down to it!
Lets see what's new....
Well for starters the best news is at our last ultrasound the Dr said there is no sign of ventricular distress! Meaning my baby will more then likely be born with a healthy heart! Luckily mommy did not pass that on!! We were over joyed to hear that! We were also told that he is measuring about 3 weeks early. Due to my diabetes he's a big baby! He was 5.6 lbs and growing about 2 lbs every month. Luckily he is evenly portioned! Most women with diabetes have big babies who's shoulders and tummys are large but the rest is normal. Not my son he's a roly poly all over! :) due to this new finding we are going to monitor his growth closely. If he continues to grow the way he is by 38 weeks he'll be 9 lbs and that's when we'll take him. The Dr says he is 70% sure we will do a c section. I am fine with that. For me the thought of surgery is far more comforting then the other way! Lol. Surgery I know I can do!
The only problem is we have to be a little more cautious of the heart failure due to c section. Due to the increase in fluid and blood after the procedure I will be very closely monitored for 2-3 hours only allowing my family to visit. After we get out of that questionable zone I'll be moved to the normal maternity ward and able to start seeing visitors. Because of this we ask that anyone who would like to visit the day he is born to just communicate with Isaac and we will give the go ahead when time.
We have been slowly working on his nursery which is coming along so beautifully! I am a little worried I wont be ready but its just me being silly!
We did really great at our first baby shower and are so stinking excited for our next one! Then we'll get the last little necessities and be ready to go!
My sweet wonderful husband has been working so much so we have extra income for when Hunter arrives, I'm just so proud! I'm constantly smitten and amazed by Isaac every second. He has shown me what an amazing man of our home he has grown into! Taking care of me and his unborn son, I'm just so blessed to give him a little boy of his own!
You our friends have been so amazing as well! Thank you for the constant calls, visits, and well wishes! Our family is wonderful as well! My in law's gave us a beautiful stroller car seat combo, my parents have blessed us with baby furniture and the entire crib bedding, my baby sister comes over almost everyother day to say hi or help me with a project, and not to mention the amazing art my mother in law and sister are providing for Hunter. I am so honored to bless these people with a nephew, grandson, son, and future fun child!
I can't express my joy enough. For being a difficult pregnancy I have still really enjoyed this process. Probably more then I should have :) I will be doing this again for sure. Down the road.... lol. One baby at a time!
I love you all, and be ready to meet Hunter Aaron Jones the second week of August! I know I am!

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The home strech!

So here I am tomorrow being a full 31 weeks! 2 weeks away from 8 months pregnant!!!!! How did this happen so fast!?!?! As most of you know I was recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I can't say I was to terribly shocked because I always knew my sugar levels were high due to diabetes being in my family. Still I cried for a good few days! Luckily I have a beautiful friend who just went through this and she was really able to help me get started! My fear is starting to set in. It sounds like due to all the complications Hunter maybe making his arrival in early August instead of late! My fear comes from the unknown. Will I be ready? Will I have everything I need? Will I be good at it? What if there's a problem and I can't take care of him for a while? What if he goes through withdrawals due to the meds I'm on? Worst off what if we have to take him a little early and his holes in his heart aren't closed up? This is exhausting! Yet I can't help to have it on my mind constantly. I'm in the "danger" phase of the pregnancy. If heart failure hits it will be any time from now. The funny thing is, I don't care if it happens to me but I'm more worried about how it would affect me caring for my son after he is born. I can tell the difference for sure as my fluid increases. My heart has palpitations way more offten, even just sitting here. I get dizzy everytime I stand, and going out without my wheelchair is out of the question because its my security to sit down when I feel the blood moving from my head. With the diabetes too it made me laugh a little because the doctor told me stress and pain will keep my blood sugar high. "Well silly doctor," I said, "I have a kidney stent, I am in pain everyday!" His response? "Yeah I thought about that, don't worry if need be we can always do insulin" yeah that's my idea of a good time! Its a good thing I have no problems with needles. So Isaac and I are doing our best to keep my stress and pain as manageable as possible. Ill admit the last few days have been awful! My pain is caused by him growing and sitting on the stent in my bladder and kidney (which I knew would happen). The worst part is the mental game. I have to take more pain killers to get comfortable, which only makes me feel like a failure because I don't want to have to take drugs. I should be able to handle it. Its silly I know but its my mind set. The funny thing about all this is I would do it 100 times again! When I'm in horrible pain instead of crying out I close my eyes, take deep breaths, and thank God for the pain because its all part if this blessed process. I recently had a person who is no longer welcomed in our life make a comment on Facebook. He said something along the lines of " why risk your life for a baby?" My response was anger immediately. First off I'm pregnant! Its not like I can do anything about it now. Second off my husband and I were meant to be parents and I would never deprive him from that joy. Third if I listened everytime a medical professional said "well this could happen...." then I would not be anywhere near where I am today. If ultimately my condition will take my life then what was the point of getting a pacemaker? I hope you see my point. If my cardiologist came to me 2 years ago when we first talked about getting pregnant and she told me " if you do this you may not walk away alive from this" then that would be a completely different story but she didn't. Granted there aren't really any cases like mine to compare to but when I asked my doctor her response was "I say lets go for it, I am thrilled and ready to walk this journey with you!" We truly had no idea what to expect with this pregnancy. But I have never let fear rule my life. I know alot of people, probably most of you have asked or thought "why would you do this with the risk involved and the unknown?" Well my answer to that is A: its an unknown. I also have faith in Jesus our Lord and he is the one who controls my life. If it wasn't meant to be it wouldn't have been. B: you guys, if you could see my heart you would see that I was meant to be a mommy. I was meant to hold a baby in my body and feel that life twist and turn and in return giving me more life! I wish you could see my soul that says "I want to produce a child with my eyes or Isaac's lips" my life would feel incomplete if it wasn't full of a child's laughter, if there were no little hands to hug me, or the future driving lessons, or the meeting of a new girlfriend, or being the mother of the groom. My life, my heart, my soul is poured into this baby before he was even conceived and if you knew that you wouldn't ask why. I'm sorry this is so long and I thank you for letting me put my heart out there! I'm also touched by out turn out for the baby shower and truly blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you for coming! I am rich because I have the love you all give to me and my growing family! Im having a weak moment and difficult time today with the burning pain. I pray and ask for strength. My body is sore, tired, and pushed to its limit. But my heart, mind, and souls is at peace, excited, and blessed! Much love Hunter's mommy

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oh wow this puts it in perspective!

So I had a great appointment today! I absolutely love my doctor! He's so amazing and makes me feel so comfortable! He asked me how I was doing with the stint and how often I'm taking my pain pills. I explained to him only once a day when needed. He looked at me like I was crazy! He said he is so impressed with how well I'm doing. He said unless absolutely necessary he always recommends pregnant women not get stints because it causes so much pain they almost have to take them out immediately. He told me I'm a special case and the best he has seen! (Yay body!) He also told me we will leave the stint for now, "why wake the sleeping giant?" Were his words! He's right minimal pain, I say leave it!
We also talked more about labor! The goal is to keep me pain free and as little pushing as possible. He laughed and told me I was an odd ball! He said " its not like I can look back at the last 20 cases like you and say, ok this is what works! There are no cases like you!" Lol! Then he told me so calmly looking at his papers " well lets get through the next 10 weeks and if all looks good and he's ready, you're ready, and I'm ready we can do this!" Uh? Lump in my throat! The realization of this actually happening was crazy! Exciting but crazy!
I was sitting there in the Dr office and had a moment of thought: I am about to become a mommy to a real, living, breathing child. Not just an imagination or dream but in a matter of weeks my blessing will be resting in my arms. I am so overwhelmed with love at the thought of this miracle! My heart wont stop smiling!
The only poo poo thing at my appointment is that we found a trace of bacteria in my urine, which could lead to a bladder or worse kidney infection. I am on antibiotics to prevent one, because with a stint those can be a problem. So we are going to do further test with that bacteria and see if it grows. If it does in the test then we gotta prevent an infection if it doesn't then it means my antibiotics are keeping it down!
So with all of this I am spinning like a top! So much to do in a short amount of time but man, I can't wait for it to get here!
I feel so blessed and I'm not going to lie I feel a sense of pride whenever a doctor tells me I'm an odd ball or I have gone beyond expectation! I wear it like a badge! If you ask me I am not disabled and I do not have a disability. I have a story, and and challenges that I will always land on top of!

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what now?

Wow its been a while since an update and a lot has happened!
Lets see, last time I blogged I was dealing with the dreaded kidney stones!
After I was seen on April 19th and monitored over night I was seen again on the 22nd with awful pain again. I was sent home and told to deal with it until the stones could pass. That whole week I was back at work, able to manage the pain with tylenol and a heating pad at all times. I made an appointment with a urologists on April 29th because I knew I could not live like that the rest of this pregnancy. Well my body had other plans.
I stayed up late on April 28th waiting for midnight so I could get in the mood to watch the royal wedding! As the night went on I noticed my kidney pain was slowly increasing. By 1 am on April 29th I was laying in bed moaning in pain. Isaac came in to find me sweating, shallow breathing, and crying as I tried to find a comfortable position. He had me take 2 oxycontin in hope to relive some of the pain. Unfortunately my pain only increased to the point where I was calling out for help. Isaac had never seen me like that, to be honest I had never been in that type of pain in my life. I would like to remind you I woke up during my pacemaker surgery, paralyzed but able to feel everything. Granted the doctors noticed right away and I was out again. Up until this point, that was the worst pain of my life!
So getting back to it, I started to become nauseous and delusional from the pain. Isaac tried everything to make me comfortable and help me ride it out! We were hopeful I was passing the stone finally! That was not the case.
By 4 am we left for the hospital, all I could say at this point behind my tears was help me over and over again. I wish I could find the words to explain what that pain felt like. I can only describe my reaction and hope it paints a picture for you.
Once at the hospital Isaac put me in a wheel chair and ran me inside. We went up to labor and delivery (due to how far along I was the ER would not take me). The nurses that's were there remembered us from the week before. At this point I could hardly talk. All I could get out were the words " help me" broken up by my sobbing. The got me in a room immediately and began giving me morphine. When the morphine did not help the gave me the strongest drug the hospital had. I can't remember the name, it started with a D. They had to give it to me through IV every hour to keep me comfortable. Time passed and more test were done. The problem was my kidney stones could not be seen. They needed to do a CT but could not due to the baby. By this time I was vomiting about every hour due to drugs, pain, and anxiety.
A urologist came in and gave me the news that surgery was necessary to fix my problem. This surgery to insert a stint is dangerous for pregnant women because it can cause preterm labor, but at this point my pain could do the same and if I didn't fix the problem I could go into kidney failure! So I cried alot and my wonderful nurse sat there holding my hand telling me not to be afraid. I love that women!
At 5 pm on April 29th Isaac came with me as I went into prep! My anesthesiologist came in to tell us what to expect. She said I would be given meds to knock me out and so would Hunter. She then proceeded to tell me how she would monitor me and my heart but could not do the same for my son. We started asking all the questions like, will he be ok, what's the chances of him not coming out, what's the % blah blah blah! All she could say was "I can't guarantee anything, I can't promise hes coming out alive" my heart sank and I began to refuse to do this! Luckily my OB stepped in and made the call that I would remain awake and that way Hunter would be exposed to very little of the drugs. Still scared but relieved I decided to go through with it. So I got a spinal and was numbed from the waist down. They gave me something to relax me as well. The way a stint goes in is the same path your urine comes out. So through my pee hole in my bladed up the ureter and in the kidney. Then it sits there from the kidney to the ureter and lands in the bladder. The point is to open that pathway so the kidney can function and drain. Mine had been backed up for 2 weeks by this time, it was indeed angry.
After surgery I felt great! I had no pain and thought " wow this will be easy!" I was wrong! I was drugged! At around 4 am my bladder felt like I had to go to the bathroom but I had no relief (I had a catheter in so I was going to the bathroom ) the problem was my bladder recognized a foreign object in it and was spasming to get it out. So here I was in pain again, vomiting, and thinking "what did I do?" I was told this is how it could be the rest of my pregnancy. WHAT!?! well my bladder also had a hard time functioning from the drugs so it would literally take me an hour to pee out 1 fluid oz! Awful! I was on day 2 of no sleep and exhausted, miserable, and wanted the stint out asap. Well thanks to my lovely team they sedated me. I slept for 18 hours and was able to bypass that awful time. Then on Sunday May 1st I was sent home! Yay!
Those first few days being home I was scared because of how uncomfortable I felt. I tried to get off my pain pills for the sake of my son and I couldn't. I cried a lot. I felt like a failure. I felt like because I wasn't strong enough he was going to suffer from the side effects. But after a week I noticed my body taking to the stint well, better then most. Before the surgery the doctor told me "you'll come out of this 3 ways: in worst pain, same amount of pain, or better pain" yeah my odds were not good! But I seem to be on the better end. I'm on bed rest because the more I move the more my stint moves and gets irritated causing pain. There are moments where it feels like a bladder infection, ya gotta go potty but nothing come out! So with my 6 meds and a painkiller only when needed I'm able to maintain pretty well.
I do miss my old life of work and on the go when I please, but knowing this can still cause premature labor I'm ok waiting it out.
All I want is my healthy happy boy. No matter what it takes.
I am so thankful for all the support and love during this difficult time. Financially its scary, we weren't planning on me not working so soon but we know God holds us and we can do our part and he will provide. He has so far.
At our last appointment Hunter is 11inches long, 1.6 lbs and healthy. We did find 2 Holes in his heart one in the atrieal and one in the ventricle (just like me. Surgery correct the atrieal and the ventricle closed on it's own) we can see the tissue to close the atrieal, the ventricular was a little harder to tell but we'll evaluate him at birth and go from there!
Thank you for prayers and concerns! We are truely blessed!

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my first hospital stay as a prego!

When I found out I was pregnant and high risk a thousand thoughts entered in my mind of things that could happen and why I might be admitted to the hospital. I knew it would come at some point, and it did. However I was admitted for something that never crossed my mind.
I was at work on Tuesday feeling great. The kids and I had so much fun with the nice weather, it was perfect. Then around 5pm I started to get back pain, which isn't unusually since my hips have been so loose so I chalked it up to that. But as my last half hour of work carried on I realized my back pain was higher then usual and didn't feel muscular. For a moment I thought " something is wrong, this isn't normal" so I drove home, stopping at the store on my way. My back pain got worse. When I got home I tried laying on my side and other various positions to see if I could find comfort. Finally at 6:45 I called the on call doctor in tears to tell her what was going on. She told me to come to labor and delivery and she would let them know I'm coming. Well me not wanting to make a fuss, decided to go to the urgent care first before driving into Portland. I called my mom to let her know what was going on. So at urgent care they did a urine test and found blood in my urine. They told me it was a kidney stone and to go to the ER because pregnant women can suffer from stuck kidney stones.
My parents and I drove out to Emmanuel to labor and delivery. They got me in an evaluation room right away. They told me an ultrasound of the kidneys has to be done and they did a stress test on Hunter. Luckily he is handling all this far better then me. By 11:30 that night I knew I was staying at the hospital, I would be getting fluid IV, an ultrasound, and pain drugs. After the doctor left something happened between the communication with the night nurse and my doctor because all hell broke loose.
The ultrasound tech came in at midnight and jabbed me for 45 minutes looking for the stones. I had not gotten the pain meds yet so him working on my kidneys as hard as he was made my body shake uncontrollably out of pain. At 1am the nurse finally came in to give me an IV for morphine. She ended up stabbing through the veins on both hands causing huge swelling, bruising, and a lot of blood all over me and the floor. A new nurse came in and got the IV in my arm first try (thankfully). So I ask the nurse "is it time for fluids to help flush this stone?"no response. By 3 am I am still in an evaluation room with no IV and one injection of morphine. The nurse comes back in and keeps telling us the doctor has to evaluate my ultrasound so she knows whether or not I'm staying or going (reminder* doctor said I was staying )
At 5 am the doctor comes back apologizing repeatedly because there was a miscommunication between her and the nurse. I now can't get a hospital room because they are busy and full so I'm stuck in this evaluation room and poor Isaac is sleeping on a concrete floor. The nurse also didn't get the note to start fluids for me.
I arrived at the hospital at 9pm on Tuesday and did not get fluids to flush me, or solid pain meds until 5 am Wednesday. Mind you I have now been awake for 23 hrs straight due to pain and being told Ill be moved to a more comfortable room so stay awake!
By 7 am my husband woke up (on the concrete floor) to the sound of me hysterically crying due to exhaustion and pain. He comforted me and gave me earplugs to help drown out the loud hospital noise so I could sleep. I did for an hour until a new nurse came in and woke me up. She was shocked to hear of my treatment, or lack there of. I told her to make me comfortable and send me home. She was nice enough to bring in a stretcher so Isaac could get off the floor. She also offered me food, thank God! We had to wait for a doctor to come out of c-sections, so that I could be evaluated and sent home. We were finally released at 4 pm on Wednesday. I was miserable, never checked on unless I paged a nurse, exhausted, and my husband wanted to kill someone. Worst hospital experience of my life. I wont lie I'm a little nervous to have hunter there now. I will be having a much needed conversation with my doctor tomorrow at my appointment. I need a little reassurance.
Now I'm on bed rest until I pass this stone. Dear lord I hope its soon. I'm not suppose to be in labor for to long yet this kidney stone labor is going on to day 3.
Please keep prayers coming and good thoughts.
Thank you for all the love.
-Jenn

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I thought 2nd trimester was suppose to be easy???

Well I guess easy if life cooperates right?

The baby is doing great! Hunter is developing so well and we get to see an anatomy scan on Friday, I can't wait!

I have physically been pretty well. Since I have been pregnant I have had some kind of cold or illness that doesn't seem to want to go away. Right now I'm battling an upper respiratory infection. On Friday we will check it again to make sure I don't develop pneumonia. That would be very bad! I also will either go down to one day a week or stop working all together mid May (depending on what the doc says Friday) due to my heart condition at 24 weeks the pressure on my heart will be equal to that of 32 weeks so we want to prevent the risk of heart failure as much as possible.
Now lets talk emotional! I have had a horrible emotional time! I was not sleeping well and I would cry when ever I was alone. It wasn't until I suffered an anxiety attack a few weeks ago that I finally decided this was not normal. After talking to my doctor he agreed. We got me on an antihistamine that's safe to use as a sleep aid. That has helped alot. I also got connected with a support group for the baby blues. I can only blame so much on my hormones. We recently, as a family, have had to deal with turmoil. About a month ago my grandfather was ill and went into the doctors only to be taken into surgery and stomach cancer be discovered. After we were told that half his stomach was gone along with the cancer we found out that the cancer had spread to his entire body. Although he is in a "safe" health zone at the moment we know that the day will come when he will slowly leave us and go home to our Lord. I can't express the deviation my heart felt by this news! After that news Isaac and I dealt with his job not being financially sound and he quickly had to turn to other means. Now that problem has been solved and I felt we were on our way back to normalcy, I was hit with the shocking news of my cousins heart attack. He is 27 years old, 4 kids, healthy weight, and no signs of trouble. Suddenly on Sunday morning at 1 am he was hit with a heart attack and life flown to a more "equipped " hospital. While there it was discovered he had an infection in the sack that hold the heart, therefore causing the attack. Well he was placed on antibiotics and seemed to be in the clear, then at 5 am this morning he suffered his second heart attack. The hospital released him at 2 this afternoon, which angers me and makes no sence! They told him at this point there was nothing more they could do. WHAT!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! 27 year old healthy men don't just have heart attacks! I guarantee if he was older he would be monitored right now! This news just makes me want to spread the word more. This is something that could happen to ANY ONE OF US!
Anyways, see what I mean about life stress? All I can do is turn to the comfort of my Lord and pray for all of it. Pray for healing, compassion, support, and lots of love for everyone involved.

With that, soon I will be raising money for out annual heart walk. I beg you please to donate, even 5$ help honestly! There are to many people I know that this disease has made a victim out of, unfortunately Hunter may meet this demon as well.
Every 34 seconds someone dies of heart disease. No other statistic comes close to that.
Thanks for reading and thanks for caring and loving Hunter and I enough to follow our journey until we meet!
Blessings and love
Jenn

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baby + heart disease = ????

Whelp, its that age old question: what's going to happen with a girl who survived this rare heart condition and is now pregnant?
Let me tell ya!
After a few meetings with some high-risk maternal fetal medicine doctors I kind of have a pretty good idea of what to expect!
Let me back it up for a quick second! I was born with congenital heart disease and a rotation disease. Combined, my conditions medical term is situs inversus, dextrocardia, atrial septal defect, with the assistance of a pace maker, murmer, arithmia, and a ventricular septal defect. Forgive me for any misspending! Basically that all means I was born with all my organs backwards, my heart wiring is backwards and reverse, I had 2 holes in my heart and my original pacemaker crapped out on me! Now back to the pregnancy! Oh and all that combined makes me rare!

So the pregnancy! The biggest concern is how my heart will take the stress of a growing life on me. When you're pregnant the heart increases in size and the blood volume increases as well. There is an input and out put in your heart. The input is blood coming in the heart! That is not the concern. Our concern is my out put. Can my bottom chamber put out the blood it takes in? That has always been a struggle for my heart, which has caused low blood pressure, and my bottom chamber needing an artificial pacemaker to pump it, and poor circulation. The other concern is can the patch in my heart handle the pressure of this new stress or will it break causing the damage that almost killed me as a child? This is a possibility. With this new higher amount of fluid pumping through my body I can go into heart failure before the baby is born or after. I know the signs and symptoms of that incase it happens!
so at some point my work load will lighten, and if I have to be on bed rest it will be in the hospital, not the comfort of my own home.
We pray that doesn't happen!
As it stands now my heart is handling this very well so far. My blood has already increased 30% and my heart has started to enlarge in a healthy manner. So far so good! Lets keep trucking!
Now the baby has a chance of heart disease as well. If I just had a heart problem it wouldn't be so bad for the baby but because I have a rotation condition to (backwards organs ) the baby's risk is increased as well. So at the 20th week we will start to look at Hunters anatomy. The doctors will check his heart for any signs of damage or disease and we will continue to monitor it.
In all honesty I know my strength and I'll be fine but I want prayers, love, and thoughts of health for my miracle baby Hunter Aaron Jones!
So that's about it. In 2 weeks I lost a little bit of weight and I need to watch that. I will also experience lower blood pressure, higher levels of dizziness, and cold chills due to poor circulation because of my condition. I am so confident in my team. I have 3 high risk specialist, my cardiologist, a pediatric cardiologist, and a cardiologist who specializes in women with heart disease. I am ready and prepared for anything! We will do an ecocardiogram second and third trimester along with other monitoring methods.
So that's about it for now!
I don't tend to talk much about my condition or the seriousness of it so it comes across as non serious, but it is and I know that. I come to you with a humble heart asking for love and support. Sometimes it is joked about the baby coming out backwards because of this condition but I ask respectfully for none of that at this time. Please feel free to ask me any and all questions. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared or worried after hearing all this. But that wont do me any good so I hold my head up, go about my everyday life, and stay confident in my own strength through God.
Thanks for reading! I love you all!
PS I'm sorry if I say no to certain social events, I just need to listen to my tired body!

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what a week!

So this past week was very odd for me! During my entire first trimester I really didn't have a lot of the "normal" pregnancy symptoms. I hardly got sick, maybe 3 time. Food was a little difficult but not to bad, and I managed to sleep just enough ( of course I still wanted more).
Then at the beginning of last week it all hit me like a ton of bricks! I felt awful, exhausted, I was extremely emotional, crancky, and had no desire to do a darn thing. All I could think was " holy crap is this what its going to be like?" I realized however it was my own fault. I am not good with the word no. I commit myself to way to many things. Between my job, social commitments, and wedding stuff I had worn my self out. I'm still doing this. With my 4 days of work (which isn't much thankfully), my all day doctors appointments on Tuesday, and now me saying yes to babysitting for a different family from noon Saturday until 2pm Sunday I ask myself "Am I F-ING MAD???? yes yes I am.
I actually caught myself thinking "Dear God please force me to have to lay around for just a week! That's all I need!" In reality I hope to not be bed ridden at all! I felt/ feel overwhelmed and stressed. I'm constantly worrying or feel guilty about who I'm disappointing or upsetting instead of thinking about what's best for me and baby.
Then today I held one of my dearest, closest, and sweetest friends brand-new baby boy! I held him for only a minute before he needed to eat again but that's all I needed.
I drove home and the tears weld up in my eyes as I thought about the moment I get to meet my sweet angel I worked so hard for, and prayed for my entire life! I realized all the worry, stress, and fear I have had doesn't matter because I will have my baby! My perfect gift! The one thing only Isaac can give me and me give to him. I could careless if my enttiee pregnancy is awful and terrible like last week (all thought I pray not) its all worth it for my sweet baby!
I just want to hold my blessing, and thank God over and over again.
So here's hoping for a smooth rest of the ride! But if its not that's ok, its only 6 more months of my life. I think I can handle that, especially knowing what the end prize is!

Stay tune! The next blog will touch on everyone's questions about my heart disease and pregnancy! Oh man and there is alot!!! Whew!

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The day the world stood still... AKA we found out!!!

Hi everyone!
Ok so I am new to this whole blogging thing so we shall see how it goes! Btw I am not a writer so don't hate on the style! Thanks

As some may know, well most of you know, it has taken Isaac and I a while to get pregnant. We struggled for about 3 years and very actively for about a year!  We struggled so much so, in November we had met with OHSU to start testing and taking steps towards fertility. My first appointment for the first step of medication was going to be January 28th. I was beginning to feel anger every time a new friend told me they were pregnant. Not anger towards them but anger at myself! I had always been a goal setter and always a goal achiever so why was it so hard this time??? What was wrong with me? Was I being punished? No, as it turns out it wasn't in my timing it was in Gods and I finally learned to trust that.

So let me take you back to that faithful day... the day we found out!

It was December 23rd and I had just finished visiting with Krystle and Sadie. We had a wonderful night of exchanging Christmas gifts! I told Krystle that I was going to take a pregnancy test on Christmas morning. Technically my period was supposed to start on the 26th, but wouldn't it be a great gift to find out on Christmas? Well I quickly changed my mind. Every month for the past 10 months I was taking a pregnancy test and every month I got one line, and every month I was depressed for days after seeing the negative result. So this time I thought if I took the test when I got home that night and it was negative and then took it again on Christmas and it still be negative (which in my head was no doubt what the result would be) then at least I would be expecting it and not be depressed on Christmas because I already knew! Well it made sense to me anyways.
So I got home, it was about 11:45. I went to my drawer of test (yes I had a drawer) and I peed on one. I was so positive it would be negative that I: went downstairs, ate some food, did some clean up, fed the dogs, and took them out potty, I completely forgot about the test. Once 15 minutes passed I remembered and ran upstairs only sure to meet my looming negative fate of no baby again.
I grabbed the test and looked down...
Right there were 2 beautiful, bright, full lines. I about died. I began to scream at the top of my lungs OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!! I couldn't find any other words to say. My body began to shake and before I knew it I fell to my knees in the middle of my bedroom floor and sobbed uncontrollably. My head spun so fast all I could think was how sorry I was that I didn't wait for Isaac.
I called Isaac's cell phone. He was of course at work and not answering. In my state of shock and panic I decided to leave a message..... yeah..... it went something like this: " Isaac are you off work? Call me right away its' an emergency... no it's not... yes it is! Just call me" all while my voice was hardly understandable due to the shaking and sobbing. About 5 minutes later my husband called back to find a calmer more composed me. Isaac: "Honey are you ok? What’s wrong? Who died?" Me: calm trying to hide my enthusiasm," Hi honey! I'm sorry I had a moment... everything is fine I was just told some news and it was shocking so my reactions was a little..... Intense? Sorry. I can tell you about it now or when you get home?" Isaac:  In a very uneasy voice, "Well if it's not life threatening then I guess when I get home." Me: cheery " Great see you soon!" hangs up.
Now can you imagine my poor husbands thought process? I'm sure he wanted to leave me right there and then. Uh oh my wife has finally gone crazy!
Well Isaac came home and opened the door slowly. He found me smiling standing in front of him. Very confused and worried he said, " I don't get it! You’re hysterical, then calm, and now smiling? I... I...." Then I held up the test. He looked at it, looked at me and said, " Is that yours?" LOL. I just nodded..... :)
He then opened the door ran around the neighborhood screaming "I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!!!!!!!!" It was beautiful. He ran in hugged me kissed me and we just smiled. I then cried a lot... again!

The next day we were going to my parents and I bought a card that said inside Grandma and Grandpa we are pregnant! While my mother read the card in the kitchen with the entire family around she read it to herself in silence. Then she jumped up, screamed, and cried while squeezing me tight! The rest of my family looked at her like she was a crazy mad women (more then usual). My dad managed to get out the words " What the hell?" I followed with a simple " I'm pregnant" and it was all over from there. My dad shook Isaac's hand, he hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head. My brother and sister cried as they congratulated us! It was a perfect moment!

The next day we went to Isaac's parents house. I gave them the same card. Isaac's mom just yelled out " YOU'RE PREGNANT!?!?!" and everyone else began to hug us and congratulate us while I cried yet again!

On Christmas day we missed Christmas dinner due to Isaac's stomach bug and me having a high fever. We spent the rest of the day in bed.
All I could think at that moment was " This is the best Christmas I have ever had!"

There you have it! Our first day! It was amazing, joyful, and perfect!

Stay tuned and I'll let ya know what happens next!!!